Its been a couple of day since I last wrote and it has been a different few days for myself. Firstly the good stuff, I phoned DWP (department of work and pensions) to find out how my claim is progressing for ESA (employment and support) and was shocked to find that they have decided to put me in the support group. I don’t have to phone them, but I feel like I am taking a bit of control back ringing, ATOS and DWP weekly to find out how my claim is going. Being put in the support group means I don’t have to send monthly sick notes, taking out some of the anxiety I go through on a monthly basis.
However I did think I would be happy, but strangely I am not, to me, its confirmation from the government that I am indeed mad and not likely to go back to work anytime soon, so a mixed bag of emotions on that one.
Second big thing, myself, my dad and my son went to a firework display, it had people, lots of people (my fear of crowds was very much forefront of my mind) but I did it, we watched the fireworks, it was a great show, I will admit I basically bolted out of there as soon as it was over, but it is progress.
Third big thing was I went for lunch with L today and her mad dog, I am not sure if you remember but I went out with F a few weeks ago and her son, that was about 20 minutes away from my house, this was 20 minutes in the opposite direction so its a massive thing for me. And my team of supporters were with me all the way. I am home now and feeling very exhausted but I did do it and it will probably take a few days to get over it.
To be honest there is no real bad news, I now have two out of three claims sorted from when I started writing this blog, It is just PIP and this is where comes my frustration with the system. I have already been assessd by ATOS, I don’t understand why they can’t take the information from that report and use that.
The only other thing is my OCD has hit new levels, I cleaned my kitchen I started on Thursday and finished on Sunday. All the dishes, glass, cups, cuterly has been washed and placed back in the cupboards, cupboards have been washed. Of course doing this with a child and a dog, it does take longer and for each day it took. I had to start at the beggining and do it all again. Which I found very exhausting. The other day I did the carpets, I started later than usual, and once I started I had to do the whole routine. I finished at about 8pm, by which time my son had not had his dinner and we were way past his bedtime, but I just couldn’t stop, (He has eaten a whole orchard so was a happy boy, but he did scoff down his tea as well) So I really do need to address this with the next doctor I see.