Been a while

The whole family have had a very nasty bug, cold, sickness, horribleness. I don’t deal well with being ill, I certainly don’t do well with being ill when my son is starting to feel much better. However we seem to be over the worst of it now. Well I hope so. It was nearly two weeks of feeling like utter poo, and now we seem to have the residual blocked nose, but hopefully that will shift in the next few days.

However it does give me a chance to think over what is happening in my life, which is bad, as I explained in my last post, thinking is bad for me. However the more I think the more I wonder if people believe me, I mean I use to have a fairly successful career and now I can barely leave my house, except on the odd occassion when I suddenly bomb up to London, or down to Portsmouth. Its a bit of a weird mixture and difficult to explain, the random mood swings that in the space of a few days I can from being as high as a kite, to wanting to die, with a bit of anger thrown in there. I wonder if others suffer from this as well.

I suppose its the fact that if I had been in an accident and had lost a leg or was in a wheelchair, there would be no doubt as to whether I was telling the truth or not, because you could see what was wrong with me and at the moment there isn’t. I for some reason do try and hide what I am feeling, because at times it is just to exhausting to try and explain how I am feeling. I also have a feeling that when someone asks they are just asking to be polite and don’t really want to know.

Like I say thinking is bad for me, paranoia runs very much through my head and despite my friends assurances, it would be like trying to explain to me that the sky is really bright green with yellow dots. I would always doubt that was the truth.

In other news, ATOS have finally agreed that they can take the report the ESA did but only for it to stand as the fact that they would have to come and do a home visit.

I have a shrink app, in the next few weeks, followed closely by a doctors app as well.

An some good news, my partner has received a promotion, closer to home, more money. However this does now mean, phoning all 6 billion different benefit departments and making them aware we are earning more money. Why I can’t just phone one and that one can inform the others is beyond me.

Lastly we have had an elf come to visit. I might put up a few photos, since I am not the world’s most creative person and to be honest at the moment really cannot be bothered with Christmas, however my two year old son, would strongly disagree. And I am quite proud of what I have done so far

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