I was having a chat with a friend today and I hadn’t spoken to her in a while and she told me, she was just off out as she was starting her first day as a volunteer.
For some reason it made me a little sad, not because she was moving forward that is brilliant, but the fact that people around me seem to be able to move forward, while I seem to be stuck in my own little hole. Its about two steps forward big and about five steps backwards.
I suppose its jealousy plain and simple. I am thrilled that my friends who were struggling so much last year, have made such massive progress and that also gives me hope, that I am able to do it at some point as well. I just want it to be now, I want to be the one who says casually, oh yeah I am just on my way out to work. I am even envious of people who complain about Monday mornings. The grass is always greener.
But this has always been my problem, I start feeling better and I then start taking massive leaps and it does nothing but put me further back. Not this time though, this time, I am waiting to see if the new pills are having a permeant effect and then go on from there.
In the meantime, I shall sit here and be envious, knowing that very soon it will be me saying I am off to work