I had an app with my shrink today, he went into a lot more detail that usual, I think because he is getting frustrated that the meds are no longer working. And he has diagnosed me as agoraphobic, while I should not be happy I am, mainly because I have yet another label but it means I can work towards using different methods to try and treat myself that might not be considered for anxiety.
I do find the apps weird, for no other reason than I am never sure if I should be revealing that I have used google to research things that might be wrong with me, but the other side of me says I am the one person who knows exactly what I am going through and I want to be able to say well its a bit like this but then this happens. For example, I find it is rare that medication works immediatly for people. Yet that is exactly what happens to me, and then it wears off after 10 days or a week. Or as my sister says maybe I am just really really stubborn.
We also chatted about my OCD, he was talking about the fact that I have to do certain things and if I don’t then I would end up in a panic. As he was talking I was thinking, no no idea what you are talking about, up to the point when he said routine and I was like. Oooohhh yes I have a routine, things have to be done on a certain day and in a certain way and at a certain time, but thats not an obsession its just something which I have to do. He did give me a look.
So tomorrow I shall ring the DWP and ask them how far they have gotten with my claim and inform them I am more mental than we thought.
I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Certainly from where this blog started from, however I do think it has moved on, so maybe I shall write about other things, like the letter I had from Ian Duncan Smith which just blew smoke up my arse, but I shall go into that tomorrow, I think after I have digested it a bit more