My son had to have his pre school shots today, so we had to make our way down to the doctor’s,
this is maybe a 20 minute walk if that, its about half a mile and probably the furthest I have been in a while without my partner.
We left with about 40 minutes to spare, one because I was panicking so much about getting there late. Of course it was also in my mind that by leaving so early we were going to have to wait, so I was panicking about the fact we were going to be sitting and waiting for long periods, especially if for some reason they were running late.
I find it an achievement that my son and I do have lots of fun when walking to places, and he is pretty good about roads and stopping, but he is also 3 and when he sees an ambulance wants to stand right on the edge of the pavement so he can wave.
But when I am suffering it is difficult to try and make it fun, its something that you have to force yourself, while in the back of your head the voice is telling you, how shit a parent you are.
Now we come to the big problem, because we left so early we were taking it slow, but because I was worried about being late if my son slowed down to much I would get this moodiness in me, but then if he went too fast I would be moody because we were going to get there to early and in the meantime I was panicking about how busy the surgery was going to be and how busy it was in town and basically was in a general panic
So I snap at my son, who really just doesn’t understand, what mummy is going through, cause mummy doesn’t really understand it. But we got there and got back and even though my son was not a happy bunny going home, we managed it and now he is back on high form