down we go and woosh up again

This morning I woke up in a very down mood, literally my first thought was I can’t keep doing this, I don’t want to wake up everyday. The voice of hurting myself was loud and clear and I closed my eyes and just didnt want to get up, but I forced myself.

My partner, had gotten up this morning with our son, done the dishwasher, and taken him to nursery, so had earned a gold star.

I sat down on the sofa and thought I should really do those exercises. Yesterday I didn’t do them because I really vouldn’t be arsed, but yesterday I didn’t do anything. I did the basics round the house, but that was only because my OCD traits made me, it was either doing it or the stomach churning anxiety on not doing it.

But yesterday was a non day, I didn’t blog, I didn’t catch up with my emails. I didn’t do anything, well I built a tower with my son and wrapped Mr Bunny up in a bandage because he had hurt his foot.

Anyway, back today, so I am sitting there with thoughts of self harming in my head and suddenly think fuck it, I am going to do these fucking exercises. So I managed it, and the pain of doing them put the voice to the back of my head.

And now, well now I am back up and it looks like we will be hitting mania land very soon.

This entry was posted in Mental Health and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to down we go and woosh up again

  1. Erica Herd says:

    Do the exercises. I think you’ll feel a little better after that. I hope so.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Pingback: down we go and woosh up again | perfectlyfadeddelusions

  3. Wonderful to hear the exercises helped. Good luck to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. honestme363 says:

    Does it make me a shit head if I like one of your posts when it is obvious when you are down (or up?) Just clicking it to show support ☺ wondered what your thoughts were on the subject..

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Sorry you have been in a down mood. Exercise can really be awesome to help those types of feelings so good for you for talking yourself into it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. somhodie says:

    My like on this post was to be supportive. Hang in there and the best of luck to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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