Who cares for the carers`

In my writings I have been very concentrated on ME, how MY mental illness effects ME. I have mentioned my friends on numerous occassions and on the odd post have mentioned my family. If you have a few of my blogs you will know I have a partner and a son.

So I would like to concentrate on someone else, my partner. Now I would never really refer to him as my carer but in a way he very much is.

He has to be the one to go to the shops or he is the one that has to wake up with my son for maybe weeks on end because I don’t want to get out of bed. He is the person who gets yelled at when I am in a bad depressive mood, he is the person who is there when the tears are flowing and the person who has to expect at a moments notice we are off to do something crazy because I am manic. He is the one who has to wait around while I finish my routine on a day to day basis.  The guy wakes up in the morning and has no clue how his day might turn out.

When I went through my really bad patch he had to go part time because I could no longer care for my son let alone take the dog out for a walk.

When I had my miscarriage I found people were very focused on how I was doing but my partner had also suffered a loss as well.

I find that while we have support groups for people who have mental health problems, for carers there is very little out there for people who are not classed as carers but are dealing day in and day out with a partner or close family member with mental health.

My mental health nearly has destroyed us but we seem strong enough to have kept it together so far. Now I am not saying that my mental health would of been the only reason there is normally other factors. People say a baby changes the whole dynamic of a relationship, mental health does that as well and the person who normally gets the brunt of it is the person closest to you.

I do feel a lot for my partner because he is not recognised by anyone formally. I have labels attached to me from the doctor, a “carer” in the sense of the word is acknowledged. My partner is not and nor are many other people who are dealing with a family member with mental health problems. In a way they often have it harder, they never know what is round the corner. Those people with mental health, if they are getting help, might find it slow and grinding but the help is there.

So keep in mind next time you see someone who is stressed you never know what they are dealing with at home and a small token, a smile, a if you want to talk I am here might go a very long way to relieving a bit of a burdon of their shoulders

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6 Responses to Who cares for the carers`

  1. Ameena k.g says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this, I found it enlightening and at the same time, it helped me to look at things from a different perspective. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lbeth1950 says:

    Thanks. I have a family member whose child carries a heavy load.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. La Sabrosona says:

    I get this so much. Except, it sounds like your partner is more understanding than my Mexican. My Mexican has issues of his own and he finds it hard to pick up the slack sometimes when he’s worked a hard physically demanding job and comes home to a mountain of dishes and no dinner. It’s so hard to keep the balance. Take good care 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can’t begin to express how grateful I am for my partner and her support for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do believe that for a lot of people with mental health issues they are heavily reliant on their partner and society as a whole doesn’t seem to see the stress on those that are caring, and I believe that has something to do with the stigma of mental health, without my partner, I do believe my son might have been taken away

      Liked by 1 person

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