Dear “normal person”


Normal Person: Oh come on you are just a bit sad, you can shake yourself out of it

Me: Dear NP, sadness is being able to find joy in something, it can be anything from the singing of birds, to hearing your child laugh. A bad joke told by your partner, I am not sad. I am depressed, I cannot see the world in colour anymore, everything is grey or black and joy is just a word in the dictionary

As for shaking myself out of it, if it was that easy do you no think I would? NP would you tell someone with legs but in a wheelchair that they can walk? Then don’t tell someone whose brain chemistry is wrong that I should be able to think like you

NP: Why are you still so tired you slept for ages yesterday

Me: Dear NP while I may have stayed in bed yesterday it doesn’t mean I was asleep, I might have only spent two hours asleep or I may have spent sixteen hours, but you see NP while I am awake my brain is racing with thoughts and no matter how hard I try I can’t make it stop. Also NP, just moving to the toilet is exhausting for me, the very act of getting out of bed tires me out, so you see NP it doesn’t matter how long I stayed in bed or how long I was asleep, just doing normal things is debilitated

NP: Of course you can leave the house, whats the worst that can happen

Me: Dear NP, well since you ask would you like the list, it involves everything from being hit by a bus to being kidnapped by MI5 and before you say anything, think because as soon as the words “yes but that is a remote chance” leaves your lips, you are admitting that there is a chance, so please NP think

NP: Why is it you are getting ready half an hour before you need to to go out.

Me: Dear NP thank you for asking, you see I have to prepare myself to leave the house. I would give anything not to have a panic attack when I have to go pick my son up, but even though it is a five minute walk, at least if I leave early enough if I am not coping I can taking it slowly

NP: Come on already, the cleaning can wait till the aftermoon. You already checked the door was locked

Dear NP. As my previous answer I would give anything not to have to stick to a rigid routine, do you know what is like to know you are doing something which is destructive but which you can’t stop because you don’t have control over? This is what I am doing

Dear NP please do not judge me, I do not judge your life unless I walk in your shoes, just because you can’t see what is wrong with me, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist

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15 Responses to Dear “normal person”

  1. Jules says:

    I love this! Its everything I want to say but for some reason cant. Amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. thanks! This says it all!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. milliethom says:

    A very thought-provoking piece. I knew a lady some years ago whose symptoms were almost identical to those you describe. Sometimes she would stay in bed for days, I know too well that it wasn’t a condition she could shake off, of pull herself out of. Depression is very real. You explained things well in the short dialogue you created.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for the amazing feedback,

      Liked by 1 person

      • milliethom says:

        You’re very welcome. I’ve known a few people who suffered from depression, all exhibiting similar symptoms to the lady I mentioned. I think hers were the more severe.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have had friends (and myself) who can go from severe to fine in five steps, and those people that maybe think they are helping but just say the wrong things or you have just ignorant people

        Liked by 1 person

      • milliethom says:

        I’m afraid you are right. It is ignorance of the condition that’s the problem, as it can be with all illnessnes. People are too quick to criticise things they don’t understand, even in this day and age. Sometimes people really want to help but, unintentionally, say or do the wrong thing. Unfortunately, I can’t see how people can be made more aware. It’s not something that can be taught in schools, and even if more TV documentaires were made, not everyone would watch them.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I think talking about it and being open, Its a bit like HIV/AIDs in the 70’s/80’s due to the stigma around people were treated so badly but someone like Freddie Mercuary dying brought it to the front of everyone’s mind and his death, along with the concert helped push past the stigma and along with medical breakthrough there is not so much of a stigma. The same with mental health and its sad to say but the death of Robin Williams, did help bring mental health to the front of people’s minds.

        The thing I hate is it takes the death of talented people to make people look at stigma


  4. Midwestern Plant Girl says:

    Great read. NP’S are clueless, forgive them. 😃

    Liked by 2 people

  5. any1mark66 says:

    Well written. I think most people justify the feeling they impose on others. There are many who believe in gospels of walking in others shoes. But those are just stories for weekends. I’m mean that mean scariface. And just to understand a single thought. It would like acceptance

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A Kinder Way says:

    The problem I have with the NP’s perspective is that they don’t consider that what is normal for them may not be normal for others. It’s about respect. I have OCD and I try to be respectful of people who don’t. . I try not to let my all consuming fears, consume them. Sadly I don’t often get that same kind of respect from people. My husband is the one exception…thankfully.
    Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

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