*Reshared* Not sure how this happened but I shared an old post, which I thought was this one and I have just noticed its not. So I am now resharing it again
I have been trying to think of a good way to explain what goes on in my head when I go out. I think I did a pretty good job, judging from the comments, reblogs and likes in trying to explain depression. You can read that here. So here we go with social anxiety.
A woman, who doesn’t suffer from social anxiety goes to the shops. she leaves the house. She is walking, on the way down thoughts such as what she is going to do for dinner, what games she might play when he son comes home from nursery, what she is going to watch tonight, maybe even planning a little trip for next year.
she enters the shop, goes and finds what she needs, and goes and pays,
She leaves, goes to cross over the road, and casually listens to the two ladies behind her.
And gets home, thinks nothing more of the trip
A woman who does suffer from social anxiety goes to the shops, before she leaves the house, she has to build up the courage to actually go, she has thoughts of does she really need whatever she is going to get (it was diet coke and yes is the answer) can she survive till someone goes for her, so much to do, maybe should put this off.
As she walks down the roads, thoughts of I am going to vomit, god I can’t breath, are those people looking at me, why do you have to be so close to me when you walk pass me, why the hell did I pick to go at lunchtime, fucking idiot, maybe I should just go back home, this is a really bad idea, I am never leaving my house again
She enters the shops, completely overwhelmed after the walk, rushes to find what she wants, forgets most of it, and pays and basically runs out the shops.
She leaves, goes to cross over the road, and wonders why two woman are so close behind her, thoughts on the way back include, why are they so close, could I pretend that I am jogging, I have diet coke that is bad idea, why the hell are they following me, Oh christ they are really close, why can’t they back up. I am sure I have sped up, how come they are not going away. Why the fuck did I decide to live opposite the hospital and a major company, Its so busy. God I hope these woman go away.
And she gets home and then spends the rest of the afternoon over anaylising the walk to the shops.
Not sure if that helps but maybe, would love to hear your thoughts