Its tough

I came to the realisation today that I am spiralling downwards. I haven’t gotten dressed in days, haven’t left the house in over a week. And I am sleeping a lot, A hell of a lot for an insomniac.

I am not sure if realising this is a good thing, I know something is wrong, but I just don’t care, I am just “happy” for the darkness to consume me.

I am tired of fighting this, and so I am just not sure what to do, I need to start from scratch but it was such a long journey to begin with. I really dont want to start.


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76 Responses to Its tough

  1. I know this feeling. The only way to transcend it is to force yourself to do the basic things that you don’t want to do. That feeling being happy to let the darkness consume you is your illness.

    It wants you to believe that there is no place for you in the light.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. sparkyjen says:

    When you did care…what did you care about? The other day you cared enough about me to follow my blog. That was doing something for another just because you care. And I appreciated it because I am just starting out. Your hand helped to pull me forward. Here’s mine now!

    Today, I spoke to a young man over in India. He too had thoughts of giving up, not caring. I asked him if he liked cereal. When he said yes, I suggested he have a bowl.

    Can life really suck while you’re eating a bowl of your favorite cereal? I don’t know where you are, or how you cannot care, but i do know that I wish you the Highest and Best right now. I care!

    Liked by 5 people

  3. ellenbest24 says:

    The storm will be weathered and the you inside will come through. You must get help this place would not be the same with you not here… wishing you joy.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. noimnotok says:

    Maybe this is a good time to binge watch your favourite TV show, and to discover what is your favourite flavour of ice cream.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I just went through the exact same thing. Do you think this may be something fleeting or a call for a change of meds? Please don’t let this spiral too far down. Try and catch it now.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I just want to reach out and say that you’re a wonderful, caring, giving, great writer/blogger, and so much more. Look deep inside yourself for the person I know you can be! I hope you know I’m here for you and just an email or call away. XXXX and OOOO love, Jem

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Although I can’t speak to your illness since I don’t have much experience in this department, I wish you whatever it takes to get you out of the darkness. Xo

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I know this feeling. More so since I can’t take my antidepressants while on tamoxifen. I am telling myself: 1 iddy biddy step(doesnt even have to be a step) at a time. For example, if you need to email a Psychologist, just compose half the email 1 day, the 2 half the next day and hit send on the 3rd. Need to do laundry? Commit to just 5 min. I wish I could help.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. You have to. What’s the alternative? You have to make yourself get up, get dressed, get outside. Once there, you may be glad you did. Every trip begins with the first step. Just start.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. tnm2799 says:

    I know this feeling too, I am going through right now as well. I second on binge watch your favorite tv show! Or read a book! It’s great for relaxation and helps me a lot with my anxiety. Stay strong dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I don’t have any advice and won’t try to give any. Sending good thoughts your way though!

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Realizing is always a good thing! I wish I could be in your shoes to fully empathize with you 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Sending you hugs. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. It’s tough, but keep fighting. It’s worth fighting. And don’t be too tough on yourself on the really rough days. Many hugs and positive energy being sent from Spain!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. DaisyWillows says:

    Hey -you are only human. What’s that saying? something like ‘how can a person appreciate the good times when they have nothing to compare it too?’ We all here to support you. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  16. blondieaka says:

    Hey no advice..not my forte but lots of happy vibes coming way 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. 😦
    I hope u feel better soon to get up…sending you lots of good vibes your way. X.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Let’s hope that your body and mind are trying to play catch up with all the sleepless nights of insomnia, then you have to force yourself to just get up and do the bare basics. All the best my dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. garym6059 says:

    Hammy is on his way over right now to provide you comfort and foresight in these troubling times. Hang in there :).

    Liked by 1 person

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