I suppose I should explain. Maybe

I had a bit of a break. I seemed to have worried a few people, I had a few friends try and engage me, since I wasn’t posting on facebook, knowing them, they would of checked here and realised I was MIA as well. They worry (along with insulting me with memes)


If I was to take a guess, I would say C probably messaged M and J to see if they had heard from me. Mainly cause they have messaged me, but I could be wrong and no one missed me at all (apart from C and Simon)

If so I am sobbing in a corner right now you bastards :-p

This is a mental health blog and while I try and keep it upbeat, on occassion I do go down and this time I thought bugger it. So I went down with the ship. Was I right to do it, who knows, but it has been coming on for a while, not helped by having to go out of my comfort zone for a family lunch, lovely time was had, but it was difficult to leave my home and then get stuck on a motorway, being late, which made me more anxious.

Then I missed Easter Sunday, so my son missed the Easter bunny, however the plus side of him being 3, is I managed to get away with saying it was the next day. But this made me feel crap, what sort of a mum misses the Easter Bunny.

I got trolled, which normally I would laugh off, but depression makes that more difficult, so I shut down, crawled into the darkness and stayed there for a while, till the bastard thing gave me a bit of light.

Other factors have made life difficult, vet bills, bill bills, the government wanting to know if I was still mental, and filling out those forms, just makes it seem so much worse. Can you cook for yourself, well yes Mr Government I can, but you know when its exhausting getting out of bed, cooking is not high on my list of to do things, trying to make sure my 3 year old is happy and I am not using the TV as a babysitter, is normally top of my list.

Can you leave your house? Yes Mr Government, when I am batshit crazy and about to spend my rent money in London. Normally I have to have a 3 year old babysit me to the shops, which I am sure is perfectly normal.

So yep, in a 5 day period I have gone from down to further down to the 7th circle of hell.

Ok so I just checked this on wiki and I would probably say it was more like the 5th circle of hell than the 7th.

All in all a bad time, I would like to think I am out of it, but I am finding this difficult.



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37 Responses to I suppose I should explain. Maybe

  1. Actually I didn’t message M and J, I was waiting to see if you replied first :p

    Big hugs and much love


    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry you’re struggling right now. Please take as much time as you need to rest and don’t feel obligated to post if that’s too much for you. And screw the trolls!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dr Ruth 2point0 (Anna) says:

    I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. If you are ever passing by, my facebook group, Suffering in Silence is an excellent group of folks, some of whom have bipolar disorder and depression as well. Blessed be.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I also have a 3-year old. I went with him today to take assessment exams for schooling in September. This will be his first time in school and I thought I was in hell for a bit because he ran to the playground and I was on my heels (having just escaped work) and I didnt know he could ran so fast. He was crying because I had to get him out of the trampoline & I was in total dismay.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sheila Moss says:

    Sorry you are going through a bad time. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes that is all you can do.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. DaisyWillows says:

    let the good times roll again sooner

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Simon says:

    Its good to see you back. You we’re missed and I hope you can get on top if things! πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜˜

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sorry you had such a rough go. Be gentle with yourself. Self care is critical!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mysticalwriter says:

    I am so sorry to read about your down time, I agree that you need to be gentle with yourself. Taking care of you is very important. Remember you are the only one to take care of you! Do what you need to do! Hoping to see you blogging soon!!

    Liked by 1 person

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