I suppose I should explain. Maybe

I had a bit of a break. I seemed to have worried a few people, I had a few friends try and engage me, since I wasn’t posting on facebook, knowing them, they would of checked here and realised I was MIA as well. They worry (along with insulting me with memes)

 

If I was to take a guess, I would say C probably messaged M and J to see if they had heard from me. Mainly cause they have messaged me, but I could be wrong and no one missed me at all (apart from C and Simon)

If so I am sobbing in a corner right now you bastards :-p

This is a mental health blog and while I try and keep it upbeat, on occassion I do go down and this time I thought bugger it. So I went down with the ship. Was I right to do it, who knows, but it has been coming on for a while, not helped by having to go out of my comfort zone for a family lunch, lovely time was had, but it was difficult to leave my home and then get stuck on a motorway, being late, which made me more anxious.

Then I missed Easter Sunday, so my son missed the Easter bunny, however the plus side of him being 3, is I managed to get away with saying it was the next day. But this made me feel crap, what sort of a mum misses the Easter Bunny.

I got trolled, which normally I would laugh off, but depression makes that more difficult, so I shut down, crawled into the darkness and stayed there for a while, till the bastard thing gave me a bit of light.

Other factors have made life difficult, vet bills, bill bills, the government wanting to know if I was still mental, and filling out those forms, just makes it seem so much worse. Can you cook for yourself, well yes Mr Government I can, but you know when its exhausting getting out of bed, cooking is not high on my list of to do things, trying to make sure my 3 year old is happy and I am not using the TV as a babysitter, is normally top of my list.

Can you leave your house? Yes Mr Government, when I am batshit crazy and about to spend my rent money in London. Normally I have to have a 3 year old babysit me to the shops, which I am sure is perfectly normal.

So yep, in a 5 day period I have gone from down to further down to the 7th circle of hell.

Ok so I just checked this on wiki and I would probably say it was more like the 5th circle of hell than the 7th.

All in all a bad time, I would like to think I am out of it, but I am finding this difficult.