Trying to explain depression


When I wrote this originally I was doing alright, my anxiety at the moment is dibilitating I thought I would share this again

When I am going though anxiety I find it easy to discuss what is going on in my head and hereΒ is the last time I posted about it, but I find depression more difficult, not because I am not wanting to talk about it, but because of the self doubt.

I was thinking about it last night and a thought came into my head. I am not sure how accurate it is, but I am going to give it a go and welcome your thoughts.

Depression is like being in a relationship with someone who mentally abuses you, at first its just every so often, but it grinds at you, being told that you are fat, you are rubbish, no one likes you, you are a rubbish parent, you smell and this goes on for a while, but happening more and more frequently.

Some days you are strong enough to tell this person to leave, to get out, you want nothing more to do with them and thats good but then suddenly you find that they are a great minipulator and have managed to get back into your life and the abuse has started again. At times you might find that they hurt you and that can be a relief from the constant telling how worthless you are.

Your friends, the ones who don’t understand what is happening, don’t know, or who have been minipulated by your partner all they see is that on occassions you are sad but everyone has sad moments. Β Those that do understand, some support you but can only do so much and then start getting annoyed you are allowing this person back into your life so often and fade away. The last few are there and try but they know its up to you to make the first step.

Eventually one of two things is going to happen, you turn one day and tell your partner that is not happening anymore and you want them to leave. You go and get help and slowly but surely you start turning your life round. But its a battle because your ex partner is always there in your peripheral vision, trying to get back into your life and it is hard because at times you want to give in just to make him stop yelling at you, but you keep struggling through.

The other thing that could happen is that maybe the abuse gets worse and moves onto more physically violence when eventually it gets so bad that is kills you

Now imagine all that but the partner is your own head

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68 Responses to Trying to explain depression

  1. Midwestern Plant Girl says:

    Wow. Yup. Your explanation was spot on, IMO.
    I also feel like ‘he’ is on my back, making even the most mundane tasks difficult. ‘He’ tries to keep me small, so I don’t gain any confidence or feel good about myself. Go ahead and eat that cake, he says, it’s much better than taking time to walk. Even tho he knows walking (in the end) will make me feel better, he knows he can’t come on walks with me. He’d rather lay on the couch all day.
    Let’s not figure in his sister ‘anxiety’… If Mr. Depression is sleeping on the couch, she is surely awake and attacking your senses from all angles. .. bitch!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. skinnyandsingle says:

    Interesting comparison…Very well said.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. dray0308 says:

    Reblogged this on Dream Big, Dream Often and commented:
    Meet My Crazy Life: its good to be crazy sometimes!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I understand exactly where you’re coming from. Thank you for posting this. The worst I’ve experienced is having people who don’t understand this illness telling you to “get over it” or “cheer up”. They don’t understand this constant battle you are in with your mind.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Yes, exactly how it feels. But we’ve made it so far…just gotta keep up the fight and hope depression does make a permanent exit.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well articulated and interesting analogy. The most annoying aspect must be the inability to ask your head to leave.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Britt says:

    I understand how you feel. I give you a lot of credit for having the courage to post this. I want to invite you to follow my blogging journey where I try to write to encourage and help people. If you need a friend you can have one in me.

    Have a blessed Sunday and know you are a blessing for speaking on the topic<3

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Writergurlny says:

    Reblogged this on Writergurlny and commented:
    I couldn’t have said it any better myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. nearlywes says:

    The comparison is very well explained I enjoyed it πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  10. leena says:

    reminds me of a rihanna song, well, some of it anyways, “stupid in love”
    where she says she’s not stupid, when everyone thinks otherwise… but she’s helpless

    Liked by 3 people

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  13. cavellemartin says:

    Hi! It’s nice to meet you πŸ™‚ I found you through OM’s Meet and Greet post πŸ™‚ Looking forward reading your blog πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Lennon Carlyle says:

    Wow, I’m so happy you shared this with me. I’ve been one of the lucky ones to have never suffered from depression but this is the first time I’ve really gotten it. The way you’ve put this into words for us is profound, informative, and now we should and can all relate to what depression is and how horrific it must be for anyone to go through. Hugs My Sweet Friend, I will be reblogging this!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Lennon Carlyle says:

    Reblogged this on Fabulous With Glitches and commented:
    Because I’ve never suffered depression it’s hard for me to conceive how it feels or what someone might be going through. This blog sums it up in the simplest form I’ve ever read or seen. I’ve been smitten with this blog since I first came across it months ago. Sarcastic, real, honest, and every time I read one, I feel the emotion. Please go check it out.

    Liked by 1 person

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  17. That is an interesting analogy. I don’t personally identify with it all that much, but everyone’s depression is different. It’s good to be able to explain it that well though!

    Liked by 1 person

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  19. luckyotter says:

    This is a great analogy, and depression does feel exactly like that. Also, like a bad relationship it’s almost impossible to get rid of. So true the way you’re always apologizing too.

    Liked by 1 person

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  21. BunKaryudo says:

    This is very interesting for me to read. I don’t suffer from clinical depression, but I think this way of explaining it helps me to have a clearer insight into the condition.

    Liked by 1 person

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  23. Miriam says:

    So incredibly well written, you’ve painted such a clear picture and explained it in such a way that we can all understand. Best wishes and hugs to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Deb says:

    I love this. Especially associating it with the head as you can’t chop it off when it gets too annoying.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. A Kinder Way says:

    I’m glad you shared this because I hadn’t read it before. I think it will help people who haven’t ever lived with depression understand as much as someone can who hasn’t lived it. I’m sorry to hear that your anxiety is so high right now. I understand…Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

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  27. Tamara Kulish says:

    I just want to send support and encouragement to everyone here! I’ve dealt with depression at various times in my life… So had my mother and grandmother. Whether it hereditary or not, environmental, learned… Who knows!

    I’m working on the various issues in my life and inside of me that are my triggers to my episodes! Mostly I’m successful. When those moments of self negativity come in, I’m working on kicking it out sooner.

    Coming from the Lemonade Maker does this sound like it shouldn’t be happening or that since I wrote a book that I’ve magically grown past this? Hahaha! I wish!

    Even with all the tools I have in my arsenal, I still need to confront those feelings, challenge them and send them packing!

    We just keep going, getting better, stronger and faster… And when we don’t, that’s okay, because we’re going to pick ourselves up and keep trying.. Even when we don’t feel we can!

    One thing I learned to say to myself: “Tomorrow is a new day! Tomorrow is a fresh start! It’s a new opportunity!” That’s gotten me through some dark nights when all I could see was the negative.

    Wishing you all peace,

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Thank you Trina for sharing this with me. It does help me understand. Sending lots of love. ❀ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  29. flashlight batteries says:

    This is a clear and helpful expression of the invisible and internal nature of depression. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Well said, thank you for a nice little read.
    I’ve written an article myself on my own depression and history – and how I believe writing helps us and can help us to combat this. Check it out if you like.
    Emily x

    Liked by 1 person

  31. freedom writer says:

    I think that is one of the most accurate descriptions of depression I’ve read so far. It is an abusive partner. Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 1 person

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