When will it end

For those that are new readers, one of the reasons I went off the deep end into insanity was due to a miscarriage, since then we have been trying for nearly 3 years to get pregnant again. It just hasn’t happened for us.

However that doesn’t stop other people getting pregnant, having babies and announcing how happy they are.

Since my miscarriage, I have had countless friends and relatives announce their pregnancy and had babies.

I would of thought that after 3 years the pain would lessen, but it doesn’t. Or at least it hasn’t for me, my cousin recently had a baby and I still felt the same stab of jealousy and the same pain that once again it wasn’t me.

I find it amusing that I get told I am not showing how happy I am. Well I am not happy that someone else has gotten pregnant, and had a baby, it takes me a lot of effort just to say congratulations, I am not going to wax lyric about it.


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36 Responses to When will it end

  1. I am so sorry for the miscarriage. What I like about this post is, that at least you are being honest about how you feel.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mel (Hippo256) says:

    I think that’s very understandable.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. TT says:

    I get it. It’s like when people tell you a situation could always be worse. Even though it may be the truth, it’s not always helpful at the time. It’s understandable.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. zosiawebb says:

    I am in a very similar situation! If you read my first and only blog post so far you can see. I understand the stab of jealousy and how hard it Is for us to be happy for someone who has what we crave for!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. DaisyWillows says:

    Behind every smile is some kind of heart ache x huggs

    Liked by 1 person

  6. trE says:

    You gotta move through life the way you gotta move through it and not like anyone else.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sheila Moss says:

    So sorry for your loss and for the grief that you feel.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Diana says:

    So very sorry for your loss. Your pain is more than understandable. Wishing that you find all you need to get thru it all.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. alifewithtrials says:

    sorry for your loss. I couldn’t think of anything worse then losing a child. Its ok to still feel the pain xox

    Liked by 1 person

  10. alifewithtrials says:

    you will have another child, just try to have hope xox

    Liked by 1 person

  11. *Hugs* there’s never a specific timeline in coping… I do get you… I am hoping your wishes do come true! I will include you in my prayers…

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I am a man. I am a father. I will never be able to understand your feelings. But I am sad–and hopeful. I, too, have had a Dark Night of the Soul. That, I do understand. I have sympathy and empathy. And your sharing is rewarding for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Grief is not something you can just get over. you can’t wake up one morning and say “I’m ok now” You are making progress. I’m sure you are happy form them but, right now the sad is still there too.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I read this and instantly thought about how I felt. It’s only been 4 months and I get this. I’m so jealous and angry and feel like they’re selfish for being pregnant. It’s awful.
    I didn’t even know I was pregnant when I miscarried. I had my hormonal implant put in and 2 weeks later it happened. Not only do I blame myself, but I feel anger towards people with babies and those who are pregnant

    Liked by 1 person

    • It can become all consuming at times, I am lucky that most of my friends seem to understand that they know I am happy for them and I will be there for them, I need time to adjust. Those that don’t understand in my world tough


      • Atm I’m really struggling with this. It seems everyone around me is having a baby and I’m not. I’m so heartbroken

        Liked by 1 person

      • I wish I could say it gets easier. I wish I could give you some peace, but all I can offer you is a hug and someone who knows what it is like to talk to. It is so hard and you have to become hard skinned with people saying well it will be your turn next time. It takes every ounce to yell well why the fuck was it not my time this time you all knowing fuck. Or words to that effect

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you so much. You have no idea how much it means to be able to talk to someone. Atm I’m keeping quiet. Only a few people know, his family don’t. I want to tell them so much but I know it’s best not tonz

        Liked by 1 person

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