A few weeks ago, my son was invited around to tea with his friend. They lived very close, and he was thrilled to get an invite. His friend invited him, and both being four, they both agreed to it and then informed us.
However it was time to return the favour. So I got my partner to invite the mum for fear of me chickening out (as I had done the last few times)
And that gave me a full week to panic. Which I did with only the pure skill someone with anxiety can do 😉
Today was the day, and this is the important thing. I could stay at home under my duvet, till it was time, panicking all the while, or I could get out and do stuff.
I went with option B. Fuck me, was that a mistake. From the time of dropping my son off at 9am and to picking him up at 12pm. I was non stop and I didn’t go for the simple just keeping myself busy, I threw myself full into, what can only be described, as my own personal hell. In fact putting me into a crowded room and then make me speak publicly could only just about beat this.
However it is amazing what you can do when it is about your children. I am not saying that is always the case, but on this one, I felt I had to make a special effort, and to those who don’t suffer anxiety, for me to say going to the shops to get ham to make ham sandwiches, might seem, like a what the fuck is she going on about moment. But for people who don’t suffer anxiety, today was like you climbing Ben Nevis and telling someone who has climbed Everest a dozen times about it.
The kids all had fun, they had a picnic in the lounge, petted the cat. we kept the dog away from them.
However I am now exhausted. Bit like climbing a hill and then thinking you can climb Everest and doing it. So a bit of downtime is required I think.