Going through depression

This is what it feels like for me, everyone is different, but to try and explain it to people who don’t understand.

Depression: Don’t want to get out of bed today

Me: Have to, have to look after son

Depression: Why? He can look after himself better than you can

Me: He is 4

Depression: no point in getting up, don’t bother, why are you still here anyway, no one likes you, no one needs you. You are just taking up oxygen.

Me: Shut up

Depression: See can’t even come with a reasonable argument

Anxiety: What’s the point in getting up, we don’t like going out anyway

Paranoia: And if you do go out people will just stare, probably wondering if they should call social services

Depression: Yep no point leaving the bed today

Me: Stop it

Anxiety: If you leave, I will have a surprise for you

OCD: Jesue ignore them you have to get up and do the (whatever day it is) otherwise I will have a surprise for you

Voice: Just go and take the tablets, or a knife there is a nice sharp knife in the drawer

Me: I am so tired

Depression: Its coming to that time, why put it off

Voice: Sharp knife

Depression: See so useless you can’t even get up to deal with your son

And it goes round and round

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23 Responses to Going through depression

  1. Depression is more common in our age that it used to be in times when life was harder. Among other things It’s because people have more time and consequently they get easily bored. Boredom is the main source of depression. People that are busy and absorbed in their work or passion for something don’t get depressed. Another source of depression is comparison with others that lead to the feeling of being inadequate and unhappy with oneself. This is increased by looking too much at the media that in order to promote consumerism keeps showing images of rich or glamorous people. However when one looks into the real lives of these so called successful glorified people one realizes that they are far from happy but full of problems including depression. Alcoholism, gambling, drugs and insecurity are widespread habits among such people. The answer to depression is to keep oneself keep busy and remember that although the grass of the neighbour may look greener in reality it isn’t. Everybody has problems or ups and downs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Personally I would of said brain chemistry was the main source of depression

      Liked by 1 person

    • itsathought2 says:

      Who ARE You? Do you have ANY relevant experience in this or are you just being stupendously ignorant and definitely hurtful for the joy of it?

      Let me give you several very angry lessons:
      a. Depression is a malfunction of brain chemistry.
      b. Depression is not so much more common now. It’s just more counted. No one was out there diagnosing it in 1845. Unless you became entirely non-functional you weren’t noticed.
      c. Asking someone to just keep busy to avoid depression is similar to asking someone to clap with one hand. The very nature of depression means that movement is somewhere between hard and nearly impossible.
      d. As someone who does use movement to manage my life – take my word for it – the depression doesn’t fucking go away. Its still there. Those thoughts described in this post are still there while you are doing dishes.
      e. And even if I’m all kinds of busy and productive today, tomorrow I could wake up and not be able to move. All of the rational thought is going to be bulldozed under by a grand mixture of apathy and self disgust and shame. And the connection between my plan to move and my actual movement will never happen.
      f. Your simplistic and frankly stupid advice can, in fact, be harmful. When you tell someone who is struggling against depression that this can all just be taken care of if they would be a bit busier, you are essentially telling them their illness is character flaw. That all of the thoughts of horrible self hate are quite valid. You are giving license to the depression to take the steps to self destruction
      g. Your ignorance is the thing that drives people with mental illness into hiding. Makes us reluctant to talk to people and explain. You are the person, the far too common person, that none of us want to try and explain it to because you will always look down at us and think we are just lazy. Not trying hard enough, not being positive. You are the person who makes our illness feel like our shame.
      h. You are wrong. Very wrong about all of it. The answer to depression is NOT your simple little list of ignorance. There is NO easy answer.
      So the next time you think you are being helpful with this kind of abjectly stupid advice, keep your thoughts to yourself. You are NOT.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I didn’t mean to insult. I just gave a small point of view that may help. Anyway I happen to advise governments and medical research bodies on how to deal with a variety of mental illnesses. It’s one of my jobs. Regards

        Liked by 1 person

      • itsathought2 says:

        And that just makes me want to crawl into bed and not move. Because there is no hope if you are advising based on that comment.

        What are your credentials for that advice?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Among other things I’m interested in the brain, sociology, physical wellbeing and emotional development. Mostly I focus on tackling eating disorders such as anorexia as well as Alzheimer and Dementia. Anyway as you rightly say depression is a complex condition that derives from many factors and circumstances affecting the brain chemistry and hormones balance so there can be many approaches to try to tackle it. Among them I believe that being engaged and even being passionate about something that is beneficial say an hobby or activity or even work can help. For instance when the mind is absorbed in something that is positive and fulfilling I find that it cannot be depressed. Best Wishes.

        Liked by 1 person

      • itsathought2 says:

        I wasn’t asking what you are interested in – I was asking what your credentials are for advising on mental health. A degree in medicine, psychology, sociology, or any advanced degree in any field relating to mental illness? Any hands on work experience in those things?

        Are you evaluating your advice based on studies or just what “feels” right to you and so you ‘believe’ in it?

        And how is it that you find “the mind is absorbed in something that is positive and fulfilling I find that it cannot be depressed. ” exactly? Was that a study you ran personally, or just your feeling on what sounds right?

        Because again, your entire position here sounds like someone who has no relevant experience. Because as someone struggling in the illness, my mind can be all kinds of busy on work and I can still be a goddamn mess. This week being a classic example of that.

        You will have to prove me wrong. Prove your position and prove your right to dole out advice that I suspect makes you feel grand about yourself but doesn’t consider the unseen damage you do in doling out “common sense” in blog comments.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have degrees in sociology and food technology that I took in Italy and the UK. From 2000 to 2004 I opened and run a school for children in London for boosting their creativity and emotional intelligence. It was very successful and incidentally 90% of my students were Americans. After that I took an interest in studying the development of emotional and social intelligence in adults too that I do to this day. I’m also an illustrator and a musician, a teacher of several languages, an expert in eating disorders and a Tai chi teacher with 40 years of experience in this field having studied 4 different styles of this art. Even now at 73 I practice Tai chi from two to three hours a day and I must say that although I do many activities I personally find Tai Chi the best one for keeping my body and mind healthy. Regards

        Liked by 1 person

      • itsathought2 says:

        So, the only relevant credential is a degree in sociology from possibly 50 years ago? And you have apparently forgotten the basic facts about mental illness which one presumes were taught to you.

        You sounds like you have a full and interesting life. I’m sorry that all of your interests have not given you much insight into the world of mental illness on which you blithely commented.

        I reiterate my suggestion from the other day. Don’t comment with that sort of advice in the future. It is not helpful, and can be anywhere from mildly hurtful to deeply damaging, depending on the person’s situation.

        You have neither the emotional or intellectual perception to pass advice or judgement on those of us mired in the mental illness hellscape.

        You may indeed mean well, but it doesn’t feel like it from here. It feels like the smugness that comes from the lofty heights of mental stability and wellness.

        It’s not helpful. Please don’t do it in the future if you actually care.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that level of conflict. You know though, your son needs you more than anything, right? You can do this. If I sound even the least bit condescending, that is not my intention. He loves you more than life, I’m sure. That’s enough to allow you tell any other thought to fuck off, no?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Erica Herd says:

    The “committee” inside one’s head can be the worst.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mayam says:

    That makes me so sad, *hugs* you have to deal with this every day, I really don’t know what to say, but as far as I can tell you’re an amazing mum and person, it’s good to see you don’t let the voices drag you down ā¤ Keep going!!! x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh Trina that is a what you have to face? I agree with Sonofabeach96, the next time they start up on you, tell them to back the fuck up because you are loved, you are amazing and valued and a pretty cool human being! ā¤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. TT says:

    I get it. Based on the way you write, which is similar to something I’ve written in the past, you may enjoy The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan. Books help….sometimes…., but I usually have to be the person to reach out for help. Maybe you do too? Hope you have an amazing day filled with smiles!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I know exactly how you feel. It’s not fun at all. Animo! as we say in Spain.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yup. Keep treading water! Xox.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi there, I hope all is well. Check out my latest post as it heavily relates to this topic. I want to help. If you like what you read, please get in contact with me.

    Liked by 1 person

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