It can be a real pain

I have been having problems with my car, first I missed its mot. I thought it was the start of July, turns out it was the start of June.

Then I got a flat tyre. I managed to badly damage the actual wheel. So we then had to find a dealer, order one delaying the mot even further.

Yesterday I had to go and collect the wheel, I don’t know how it was managed but during the conversation with my partner the sales man didn’t think we needed the tyre, so just ordered the wheel.

Leaving me with no tyre still.

Its nearly 10am and I am going to have to phone the garage and see if they can help, or whether I am going to have to delay the MOT further. While I can’t sort the MOT I can’t drive the car, so all of this is being done my car is just sitting there.

For those that are unaware, I suffer from OCD. Phonecalls, when I have to do them are done on a Friday. Today is Wednesday, not Friday.

I wish I could explain the pure, stomach churning, wanting to throw up terror of having to change this routine. It feels like if I do it something is going to happen. I don’t know what but just something, and then the thing is if something does go wrong it will be because I made this phone call.

The thought that nothing might not happen, just isn’t really there. And something always does, in my mental little brain.

Everytime I have to face the reality of my mental health, it feels like I am never going to go back to work, because nothing is changing.