- Mothers only offer advice on two occasions, when you want it and when you don’t.
- A mother’s love is a better cure than chicken soup, but chicken soup is cheaper.
- Your mother is the only person that knows more about you than you know about yourself.
- Any time you are unable to solve a problem, ask your mother. She probably won’t know either, but she will fake it.
- Maternal instinct is stronger than any force known except an IRS collection agent.
- The more you try to stay on your mother’s good side the harder it will be to figure out which side this is.
- The nicer a mother is, the greater the probability that her kids are rotten.
- If you can’t remember whether or not you called your mother, you didn’t.
- The motherly advice you ignore will always turn out to be the best advice she ever gave you.
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