Will not be doing that again

How to start. Lots has been going on, first my little boy is on his summer holiday, which is some ways is great. Other ways I feel very sad, he is growing up, and will be starting school for the first time in a month.

That bought me down, then I had a letter from the DWP asking for an assessment, I get why they do this, but I just want to be left alone to get better.

I also feel that everytime someone questions me on my mental health I need to either deny it or ignore it.

Mental health is not like a cold, where the symptoms are all very similar, mental health differs from person to person, the basics are very much the same, but the whole is so much difference.

So with all that I decided the best thing to do would be to force myself better. So to prove to myself I was much better, I changed my routine. For most people not a problem, for OCD people not recommended.

I crashed hard and bad. Silver lining, I really have something wrong with me. But that is it. My mental health knocked me out for about 3 or 4 weeks, nothing got done, I didn’t want to do anything, it has been a real struggle to get back on an even level.

Even now I am not sure I have done it.

But here I am *waves* for how long who knows

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3 Responses to Will not be doing that again

  1. LydiaA1614 says:

    I totally relate to everything you said. I have bipolar, OCD, Panic disorder and on, plus a mess of physical problems as well. When my chronic pain gets bad I can’t do things and my OCD goes off the charts because the house isn’t perfect, meals aren’t right on time. I am sure you know the drill. Do NOT be hard on yourself. And don’t try to force yourself to be anything other than who you are. If you are having a bad day/week/month, that’s okay. Do what you need to for yourself. sending hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Miriam says:

    I can relate to the crashing. Be kind to yourself and try not to beat yourself up. That’s my biggest problem. Hugs to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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