Last Week Part 1

The only way I can describe the last week has been stressful, my son, who is normally a lovely little boy turn into the spawn of Satan.

I had various bits and pieces going on which has just made my anxiety much much worse, which I will probably go into more detail later.

But what I wanted to focus on is the main cause of my anxiety, which is something which is meant to help.

My appointment with my shrink.

This is the first one with a new shrink, turns out it wasn’t just with a new shrink it was the new shrink and his student.

I often find the best way to get something is to get someone in an uncomfortable position and they normally will agree with anything just to get it over and done with. This is how asking me, if I mind if a student sits in feels.

I had spent the entire night, plus the morning , trying to figure out whether the anxiety of going was worse than the panic of phoning and cancelling, or the aftermath of just not going and possible being discharged.

In the end I went with going, cause you know, its meant to be helpful.

The student took the session, while the shrink sat on his computer typing.

At the end, I get told, I don’t need drugs and due to my sensitivity to them it would be best, instead, if I go to a form of group therapy.

I have spent two fucking years avoiding crowds, because of the crippling anxiety. I have got better I am not going to deny that, but trying to get me to go to a group therapy session at regular times is just not something which I can commit to. If I could I would be bloody working.

It has really annoyed me up to the point of asking my doctor to discharge me from the mental health team, as it cause me such anxiety getting there, the panic of never knowing who I am going to see and having to start again every few months with a new shrink, it starting to take its toll.

I am in a catch 22 situation. I want to get better, but the thing that is meant to make me better is causing me more stress.

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4 Responses to Last Week Part 1

  1. fastfall says:

    You dont need any of that stuff. You have the full capacity to do everything you want and need in yourself. It will take time to build up to a level where you are strong enough, but it is all there. I recommend you let go of any baggage and bad habits, and start fresh wish a disciplined and focused approach to making yourself better. Better diet, excercise, commitment to yourself. You can do it, you just need to believe you can. Good luck.

    On Tuesday, September 6, 2016, itsgoodtobecrazysometimes wrote:

    > itsgoodtobecrazysometimes posted: “The only way I can describe the last > week has been stressful, my son, who is normally a lovely little boy turn > into the spawn of Satan. I had various bits and pieces going on which has > just made my anxiety much much worse, which I will probably go into m” >

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you and I do agree, the tablets were and have always been a last resort. However to be told that I now have to go into a group session, when I have been basically left to my own devices for two years, and know my mental health better than anyone and know I am not ready for that yet

      Like

  2. ghostmmnc says:

    To me this just doesn’t sound right. The student doc took over the session, ok, but did the primary doc have nothing to say? Whose recommendation was the group sessions? I’d be anxious about it all, too, after that. I’m sure your son is feeling your stress, which makes him act out at times. Hope all begins to resolve and you have a better week. (((hugs)))

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Primary Doc was the one who suggested the group sessions at the end, I am just really not happy about the whole thing. And you are probably right, the more stressed I am the worse my son’s behaviour gets, and while I try and control it, that is easier said than done

      Liked by 1 person

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