The indecision

My son is due to start school on Monday for the first time, I have been complaining about him, but he is a good little boy, and he gives me a large amount of joy.

But it is difficult to get on with stuff, when your child wants to play all the time. Literally from the time he wakes up to the time he sleeps, he will play by himself but then when he hears me doing something he wants to help and I am resigned to the fact my ten minute job is about to take 2 hours.

I think I have done the right thing in making it a fun thing to be doing. Because I knew that as we got closer, my anxiety would kick in.

While I don’t think it is healthy I do use my son as a comfort blanket. I can do a lot more with him with me, like go to the shops, because he is there, as a distraction or whatever it might be.

And it finally dawned on me I am not going to be able to do that now.

But my first thought was I don’t want him to grow up, starting school is the first step in any child’s life and the fact he is going to be doing this for at least 11 years is a big part of his life, but with that comes the fact that we are not going to be able to spend days doing whatever the hell we want.

Its very sad for me.

I can imagine first day of school, as I look at the children, who don’t want their parents to leave looking down at my son, to find he has already dashed off to class to find something fun to play with .

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2 Responses to The indecision

  1. Well…I suppose you can then spend your days doing whatever you want first and then wait for him to come home and do whatever the hell he wants. At least for a few years. 11 years old is too far away to think about. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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