Boo

I must admit I am not in a great place, and I have missed blogging, but the fact is doing anything is hard and most of my energy is being spent looking after my son.

 

My anxiety is sky high, making doing anything difficult. Sleeping is not happening, well not at night anyway, I am napping where I can, but it does mean, that its all a bit shit, even my house project is on hold.

I will say the fact I am not sleeping, probably has a direct link to my depression getting worse. Not sleeping makes everything worse. I have so many great ideas I want to do and I just can’t do any of it,

It makes me sad that 5 years ago, I was a functioning human being with a great future and now, I am just wasting my life, and I am finding it impossible to get any help, from the medical community.

Its very much, you are not sick enough to be helped, but you are too sick to do anything. Its putting a lot of pressure on all my relationships and its a struggle.

I don’t know what the answer is, I wish I did. I wish I could take a magic pill and start all over again, well I say all over, I mean maybe the last 3 years. I wouldn’t change things like my son for the world and he is what is keeping me going.