So yesterday I was feeling down, today I am up. I am getting use to these changes.
Due to the rapidness of my bipolar, I can go from depressed to manic in 24 hours.
However the powers that be threw in anxiety, which is a bastard.
I took my son to school today, I normally go so we are a couple of minutes late to save standing there with a group of people.
However we got caught up in the older kids going to school, which meant we were all crowded together. Cue a full blown panic attack. Which was unpleasent.
I normally can keep it together, but literally ran home and locked the door, till I had calmed down. Which I still haven’t, the tightness in my chest is still there, the sick feeling in my stomach. It got so bad it hurt
I think most people have some kind of trigger mine is being surrounded by people and in my head I am praying they back off me. I don’t have that one thought that CBT teaches you, I go from fine to panic in 0.000005 seconds.
For my son, I try and keep it together but it was tough. Thankfully though my partner is here today, so can do the outdoor things we need to do, cause I am not leaving this house, unless it is on fire and even then, it is going to be a close run thing.