Down the lonely road

I am never sure how to start these types of posts, because, while I love sympthy, I don’t need it in a sense.

The last few days have been bad depression wise. I have had thoughts of self harm and suicide.  While I think I am through the worse of it, I am learning that I have to ride the wave and just do things to keep myself and my family safe.

Then my dishwasher broke (you can give sympathy on this) It happened just as I filled it with dishes, and then cooked a massive roast dinner, using, probably, every single dish we have. Don’t normally worry about it, cause I have a dishwasher.

Now I am going to have to clean all the bloody pots, pans and dishes. I left it for a day, to see if I can fix it. But now I can’t see the surfaces in my kitchen. So today will be spent, cleaning the dishes, swearing at my dishwasher and trying to figure out what is wrong with it.

These are the days I am glad we have the internet, before I am fairly sure I would of just called someone to fix it. But with youtube I can see if I can fix it first. I am sure its a blockage in the water pipe. So should be fairly easy to fix.

 

At least that is what I thought. While I like to think of myself as an intelligent person, I can be outstandingly stupid. Didn’t occur to me, that when I disconnect the water tube thing, would of been a sensible idea to turn off the water leading to the dishwasher. I got soaked.

 

I am telling you this not to distract you from the fact that my depression is bad, but more to distract myself, its a coping mechanism, like, for an example, when you see someone head down on their phone, not paying attention to the world around them. That could be me. If I am forced to go out, I use my phone to distract myself, normally I am chatting to C, who from 300 miles away is holing my hand or trying to make me giggle.

 

So that is me at the moment. Hope you are all good and have had a good weekend

 

Trina

x

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18 Responses to Down the lonely road

  1. GaryVincentoday says:

    Never give up on your dreams, it’s never to late to achieve, it’s never to late to start living the life you want to live.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rjlboom says:

    Distracting yourself is simply changing focus and it’s awesome to hear you have found ways of doing that. I hope you find a way to fix your dishwasher. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh noooo…darn the dishwasher! It can be quite a pain in the ass to be washing those dishes. On the other hand, you can look the other way – that washing the dishes by hand can be therapeutic. Lots of hugs to you. x.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hope this bout lifts soon. Sending hugs and positive energy your way. Depression sucks!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. vraxx says:

    I can very much relate to this. Anniversary of my divorce is right around the corner and despite being in therapy I don’t always feel like I’ve made progress in my recovery. Distractions are definitely a big part of getting out of that negative-thought loop that’s all too easy to fall back into. Hang in there, every little bit helps.

    Liked by 1 person

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