It is hard

I was reading a forum today about how someone was thinking of not having children, because of so called slummy mummy blogs.

I am sure you have seen them, the ones which focus on basically having a drink, how hard it is to have children and how unrewarding it is.

I will admit that I am the first to say I probably write like this at times. Because having children is fucking hard work. I have written a few times about the judgement you face when being a parent, normally from other parents.

But its not just that, children have this talent to drive you to the very edge and then hug you so its so much better.

As babies, they cry, they do other things like shit and sleep, but they cry, there is nothing harder than having someone who can’t communicate what is wrong crying at you and its your responsibility to figure it out. Its a bit like playing charades with no clues.

The guilt you feel for so long whenever they start crying, sometimes babies don’t sleep. So along with the guilt already you are probably suffering sleep deprevaiation.

For so many years, it seems to have been pounded into us how lovely it is to get pregnant and have a baby and how perfect it all is. How you just need to be strong with said child.

Nothing was ever said of morning sickness, and how that is actually not true, it can last all day, nothing was said about how hard it is to breastfeed, nothing was said about the fact there is no consoling a toddler who wants to wear his swimming trunks and nothing else in the middle of a snow blizzard. Or how exactly you negotiate wearing boots instead of shoes, and then halfway through the debate they throw in the fact that they want the red boots and not the blue boots.

Being a parent is damn hard and now parenting blogs are coming out and saying just how hard it is. Dont be fulled by the 2.4 children and how they will never strop. My child would strop at not going to the park, even though he had just spent half an hour stropping about going to the damn place.

Don’t kid yourself on it, its hard and at times unrewarding, but ultimaely it is one of the best things you can do as an adult, however not all adults want to do it and that is fine as well. You can do other stuff, like sleep and have lie ins

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13 Responses to It is hard

  1. TJ Fox says:

    I have to agree that it is incredibly rewarding, but I have to add the caveat that this is not always the case and some people just aren’t equipped to handle the hard that comes with raising kids, even when the raising runs along the lines of “normal”. If the only child I’d had was OC and the troubles we’ve had with raising him, I may not feel that way, but I’ve been incredibly lucky to be rewarded with two other stunningly amazing children that make all the crap that goes along with an incredibly difficult child worth being a parent in general.

    Liked by 2 people

    • You are right some people are not. I think a lot of people only find that out when they are in that position, I have friends who have decided for whatever reason not to have children and the pressure on them is also amazing, it seems to be the thing that you have to have children to be a decent human being, one of them he has said that he would be a shit father, I think its lucky he knows that now rather than when a baby does come along.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Children. That first truancy, first teacher/parent conference, first principle conference, first suspension, first arrest at shopping mall, lying and stealing, first arrest selling drugs, first rehab, on drugs while pregnant, abandoning her children to foster care, and endless heartache. I hope it doesn’t happen to other parents.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Phil Taylor says:

    I agree. Kids are sometimes both the best and most difficult parts of your life, but when they do something amazing it makes you forget all the crappy stuff

    Liked by 1 person

  4. debyblogs says:

    I have always known I wasn’t set to be a mother. My reasons kept changing over time. When I was a kid I just knew I didn’t want to be like my mother was to me and my siblings, then when I was fourteen I had to help raise my sister’s kid because she gave birth and went to Uni a week later and I hated the downs that came with parenting. At fourteen, waking up ten times every night to feed the baby, change their nappy(yeah,it’s back in the day), and try to soothe him back to sleep when my angry father-still willing to dish all the anger of his first child having a child at 19-keeps screaming at you to stop the baby from interrupting his sleep did nothing but strengthen my belief that I was never going to be ready for this. My nephew turned 18 this year and we had a blast. We are very close and I don’t look back at those days with anger anymore, but I still feel like motherhood is something that I don’t want to experience.

    The sad part though was that a couple of months ago my gynae told me I should be thinking of getting a hysterectomy for my fibroids. These buggers have been making my life hell for years and even though I had them removed in 2014.they have reared their heads again. I thought it would be a pretty easy decision to get the hysterectomy, given how I have always been sure I didn’t want kids. But I’m still stalling. It was easier when it was a personal decision. Now that it’s more of a medical necessity, I have to think it through thoroughly.

    Sorry, this was long. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do understand what you mean, a friend of mine decided very early on she didn’t want children, she was very set upon it and happy in that decision, but then, like you, some medical need came up, which meant she would be unable to have them. Despite being very adament in her decision, she still mourned the loss, because it was no longer her decision. She still doesn’t want children, but she is angry she doesn’t have the option and that it was taken out of her hands.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. kateliliblog says:

    You can do other stuff like sleep 😂 well said!

    Liked by 1 person

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