My Mental Health Brain Dump Part 3

Part 1 and Part 2

OCD

My OCD relates to routine, things have to be done on the same day, at the same time. It can be a mission to change this, it will cause me massive anxiety when things don’t go as I want.

The dog gets walked 3 times a day at the same time. Rooms get cleaned on the same day, paperwork and phonecalls (if I have to) get done on a Friday. We very much live in a routine in this house.

As I mentioned in part one, my partner tries to let me sleep during the day. I would like to reiterate how lovely this is, ok, so if he is on a day off on a school day he doesn’t have to do much, but it does give me peace of mind that he is there and there isn’t a price on that.

However, letting me sleeps distrupts my routine and that causes me massive anxiety. Also on occassion leading me to do things such as still be cleaning the kitchen at 2am. Things have to be done, I try and repeat in my head nothing will happen if it doesn’t get done, but even typing that I can feel my stomach knotting in fear and my breathing getting faster.

There doesn’t seem to be anything in my head as to what will happen, but I think this is one of the reasons CBT will no longer work for me. CBT relies on capturing that first thought on why you are becoming anxious. I don’t have that I go into panic mode in less than a milisecond. I can give you the thoughts afterwards, but not just at that moment.

Do you know what happens when I do get behind, the depression hits. More on that in part 4

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10 Responses to My Mental Health Brain Dump Part 3

  1. mellissalalondeblog says:

    I really enjoyed this post! Thanks for sharing..I often feel the same, but have never been diagnosed with OCD, but I know exactly the emotions you are talking about…and it is a family joke that I have OCD, lol, I just like things in a routine, my brain functions best like that, or else I get all scattered…and can’t concentrate on the task at hand because I just keep looking at all the mess all over that needs to be cleaned up! Lol…I am looking forward to your next post 🙋💖

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, I was originally diagnoised with OCD traits and I think alot more people have this then realise, but because its not cleaning, or switching a lightswitch 20 times, they don’t connect it

      Like

      • mellissalalondeblog says:

        Yeah, I always kinda just had an incling in my mind about it – I was in army cadets…and you have to make your bed with hospital corners….I still make my bed every morning, it routine, and if I don’t…I feel my self getting anxious…I wake up, shower, make bed, make lunches, excersices, Bible time, sewing

        Liked by 1 person

      • I know that feeling, all routine and if it doesn’t happen its not good.

        Like

  2. Pingback: My Mental Health Brain Dump Part 4 | Its good to be crazy Sometimes

  3. mellissalalondeblog says:

    I have a routine, and if I don’t do it, I get very anxious and stressed…I live for routine! So I quite enjoyed this post! Thanks so much for sharing 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: If you are new here or if you have forgotten | Its good to be crazy Sometimes

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