Oh Balls

I would like to tell you a story, for those that are not aware, I use to drink, drink a hell of a lot.

I stopped due to being pregnant, that does tend to stop you being a dick to your body, and the I stopped because I was breastfeeding.

I did start again, but I would say in the last 6 years I have only had 3 major slips up.

Now adays I can go to lunch and have a glass or two of wine, but if I actually buy a bottle of wine, it will have to be drunk. It might not be the best way to control it, but it works for me.

This isn’t really a story about my drinking though, this is a story of a time I was drunk, very drunk.

I believe it was my sister’s 30th, we were out in London. I don’t remember much of the evening, because well, I was drunk. What I do remember, is falling up some stones stairs in the comedy club and smashing my 2 front teeth out. I do believe I continued drinking.

My mum (bless her) paid for me to get them replaced, I don’t know the terms for what the dentist did, but by the end of it I had two new front teeth, because I hadn’t smashed them both out, more broke them they just made them straight again.

However out of all the shitty things I did when I was drunk, this particularly thing has served to remind me, never to get that drunk again.

Because every so often something happens. One time, it was my son headbutting me in the mouth and breaking the replacements off, another time it was the dog.

This time, however, I just woke up and thought that feels weird and yep part of one of them had fallen off. So now I look like half  a vampire.

I can hear my sister (who is in Budapest) sobbing at the thought of this. Dental hygiene is very important to her.

It means I need to go back to the damn dentist to get these fixed. After the last time, god knows what she is going to suggest.