Yesterday Monkey asked where I had been and why I wasn’t at home when he finished school. I must admit its a rare thing for me not to be here.
I made the fatal mistake of telling him I had been at the hospital. Which bought on gasps of but why mummy, do you need plenty of bed rest?
I have never really talked to him about my mental health, he knows I don’t like crowds and sometimes I don’t feel very well so need lots of rest of the sofa.
I tried to explain that sometimes, you go to see your doctor, who knows a little bit about lots of things and sometimes, they decide they have to send you to someone who knows a bit more and mummy needed one of those. Then those fatal words came out, but mummy what is wrong, I feel saying I have a chemical inbalance in the brain, which makes mummy think differently to other people at times, might not of been aged approripate for a 5 year old, but he did seem to accept it and I told him if he has any questions he can come and ask me, but that I was going to be ok and the new doctors were going to give me some new tablets that makes my brain think the right way.
Basically I shouldn’t of opened my mouth and do what my partner did which was told him I had a doctors app, not a lie, but not exactly the truth, however my partner was gearing up at the possibility of telling our son that I might not be home and trying to explain why.
We are getting to the point with monkey of him noticing a lot more and noticing my limits, lego will only distract him for so long. Like with everything, we have done with him, we don’t shield him from what is going on, but try and explain it, this time my parenting skills failed me, but he has come and asked me more questions mainly for reaassurance more than anything else, which I am happy to give him
You explained it well. Children understand more than we realize. He just needs to be reassured that you will be OK and it looks like you did that. You are a very good mum!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Darlene, I think he just flustered me, but he is a smart cookie
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m with Darlene in that I think you explained it very well..and it IS age appropriate since he understood. You are doing a terrific job at motherhood so stop blaming yourself or doubting yourself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I always thought it was part of motherhood to doubt yourself
LikeLiked by 1 person
That sounds to me like a really good explanation you gave him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, I think he was more worried that I had hurt myself in some way
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the explanation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 🙂
LikeLike
I think kids just need the reassurance that you’re not ill and dying…at least that’s what I remember from being little. Sounds like you did a good job and I’m sure your son feels reassured 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
He seems to have forgotten all about it,
LikeLiked by 1 person
it is good you are honest with him as much as you can be. he’ll thank you for it when he’s older. explaining to kids can be so hard. xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
it really can and if there is any truth to some of the studies being done that mental health issues can be handed down, then I need to be prepared for that
LikeLiked by 1 person
True, you do, but hopefully it won’t happen
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fingers crossed
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great explanation. I don’t think there’s just one way of explaining things – we sometimes have to know our audience as well 🙂 Thank you for sharing your post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, he is a very curious little boy, so its best to try and answer his questions
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just reading this months later. I agree with the previous comments. You handled it well. Too much mystery and kids may make up the answer themselves and come to an incorrect conclusion. Congratulations and good foundation for explaining things as needed in the future!
LikeLiked by 1 person
He is much more comfortable discussing it with me now 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person