Yesterday Monkey asked where I had been and why I wasn’t at home when he finished school. I must admit its a rare thing for me not to be here.
I made the fatal mistake of telling him I had been at the hospital. Which bought on gasps of but why mummy, do you need plenty of bed rest?
I have never really talked to him about my mental health, he knows I don’t like crowds and sometimes I don’t feel very well so need lots of rest of the sofa.
I tried to explain that sometimes, you go to see your doctor, who knows a little bit about lots of things and sometimes, they decide they have to send you to someone who knows a bit more and mummy needed one of those. Then those fatal words came out, but mummy what is wrong, I feel saying I have a chemical inbalance in the brain, which makes mummy think differently to other people at times, might not of been aged approripate for a 5 year old, but he did seem to accept it and I told him if he has any questions he can come and ask me, but that I was going to be ok and the new doctors were going to give me some new tablets that makes my brain think the right way.
Basically I shouldn’t of opened my mouth and do what my partner did which was told him I had a doctors app, not a lie, but not exactly the truth, however my partner was gearing up at the possibility of telling our son that I might not be home and trying to explain why.
We are getting to the point with monkey of him noticing a lot more and noticing my limits, lego will only distract him for so long. Like with everything, we have done with him, we don’t shield him from what is going on, but try and explain it, this time my parenting skills failed me, but he has come and asked me more questions mainly for reaassurance more than anything else, which I am happy to give him