I wrote a very quick post the other day about my meeting with the crisis team, you can read it here
I have since be able to go back through it, the one thing that stuck out to me, was the doctor saying, you use humour a lot to mask what you feel.
The thing is that is true, when I am at my most down, I search out my friend C and chat to her, she laughs at all my jokes, its very healthy for me, not so good for my ego though.
I do wonder whether I should try and stop, especially when speaking to the medical community, I used my humour so much in the early days that it has become second nation and its going to take me ages to stop doing it.
On the other hand I like that bit of my personallity, for me, you have to laugh otherwise you will cry or in my case, get annoyed and frustrated and I cant risk that with monkey in the house.
I started on the new pills last night and christ I feel like I have been hit by a bus, my eyes have wanted to close and I have noticed that I am eating a lot more than usual. Even as I write this I am thinking of heading to bed.
My partner has gone away to a family wedding for the next few days, so I have the bed to myself. Of course I will miss him, but big bed.