I have finished all my jobs, I love Tuesday’s, its cleaning the bathroom day and even with the scrubbing of the tiles, I still manage to get it all done fairly quickly.
I sat down to write something, I was going to make it about my mental health, how I am feeling, that sort of stuff. Try and get across what its like living with it.
I then hit a snag, as I was trying to analyse how I was feeling, I realised I was feeling fine. I am not up or down, I don’t feel anxious, I am fine.
Shit is that weird, I am staring out the window looking forward to taking the dog for his walk, probably with at least one cat.
I still have worries but at the moment, I can deal with those in a bit. This could just be because I am so exhausted. Since coming off the tablets, I have been trying to give my partner a lie in, as he let me be for nearly 10 days, while my body tried to get use to them and he was great, but its a bit unfair, so if I can get up with monkey and we can be quiet, he may only get an extra hour or so before he goes to work, but its an hour he wasn’t getting a couple of days ago.
Maybe its the weather, its nice and sunny here, still a wee bit cold, but I have all the windows in my house open to give it a bit of an airing. I am hungry, which doesn’t normally happen, so I am debating what to have for lunch, either cheese on toast or pasta.
Maybe its because of yesterdays doctors appointment
I don’t know, but after spending so long feeling so anxious, its nice to not be feeling that knot in my stomach and wanting to throw up.
It might only be temporary and tomorrow who knows, but for today lets take it and run with it.
Of course it does make writing about my mental health slightly more difficult but for one of the rare times I get to write.
Today I am fine