Obsession

I really need to do something and get out of my own head. I am becoming obsessed with things and that is not a good thing.

Its not bad stuff. Its things like Hamilton, I have watched that musical God knows how many times in the last 5 days.

I hate to say it but lego, I am using it as a release, but if I don’t get that I am irritable. Although how anyone can tell what I am getting irritable about is hard at the moment. I am finding everything irritable.

I am listening to the same song over and over again, when I am not watching Hamilton, I am playing it over in my own mind,

I know I get like this, but with everything else, its becoming difficult to control. Thats another things, control, I keep using that word as though its going out of fashion. Did I ever really have control over my own life, who has a switch happened in my head, where I realised its all bullshit and no one has any control

Could this be an effect of Covid.

Do you know how I wrote this post? I started with Hamilton and then just kept writing, writing whatever came into my head,

Nothing is making sense anymore to me. I am getting scared, nothing feels real, I don’t know which world I am in anymore.

Yet I still have my mask on, but do I really want to wear it anymore.

Welcome to inside my brain