Nul Points

I am running a bit behind this week already, this is because it was Eurovision at the weekend, for those who don’t know what this is, loads of countries from Europe (sort of) get together and have a singing competition and then everyone decides who is best, via a points system, in two ways via judges and then via the public.

The UK got a fab result of zero from both the judges and the public vote.

Lets start with the actual competition. Iceland was robbed,

Apart from it being a great song, I loved the band’s jumpers. It has dance moves I can actually do.

The only other one that I liked was the German entry

But I think thats because the lead singer reminds me of this

I could tell you who won, but I feel if you are that interested you should go and watch it. The whole event was amazing certainly given the circumstances. My first problem came when they started to annouce the scores, and not because we got zero points. You see what happens is that every country picks someone to represent the country and give the judges score.

Ours was a woman called Amanda Holden, who is mainly famous for having married a famous man and then shagging Bob the Builder. I could be wrong, but thats certainly what I know her for.

Normally what happens is, the country appears on the screen and they say either the country or the city, so for example London calling or this is the UK calling and we have the judges votes. Depending on the country most will say hello and congratulate the host in French, English and their native language and some will also use the lanague for the country who is hosting, this year is was the Netherlands and then give the points in I would say its normally English, although some use French, both languages have to be used because of they are the official ones of the European Broadcasting Union who basically show the Eurovision, but they do alot more that. Anyway, so most countries will use English and then the host will translate into French and also into their native lanague.

The reason why I am giving you all this detail is because our representitive Amanda Holden decided to say Bon soir. Goedenavond. That is good evening in French and Dutch although I’ve got absolutely no idea which is which.”

Its not often my jaw hits the floor, but this is one of those times. I am by no means a language expert, but those two languages are nothing alike. French is a romance language desended from Latin. Dutch is a West Germanic language for starters. But Jesus Christ, the UK already has a reputation of, at best being lazy with languages at worse just being ignorant of learning any other language. Keep in mind this is a song contest being held in The Netherlands and conducted the whole evening in either French or English (neither a bloody native language.)

While I was collecting my jaw off the ground, I feel the perfect peice of trolling came along, whether deliberate or not, the next country was Greece whose representive was a 10 year old boy who spoke English perfectly (not his native language either)

Amanda Holden’s excuse apparently was she made a self deprecating joke. I get that, I do that alot, not when I am representing a country though.

After all the results were announced and the UK came last (again) it all starts up on various social media platforms that we shouldn’t pay into Eurovision, I am not sure if the rule is still the same, but it use to be if you came in the bottom 5, you would not be allowed to compete the following year. 5 countries were excempt from this rule, Germany, France, Spain, Italy and the UK and that is because we give the most money, so I am never fussed where we come, because we are always going to be in it the next year.

Anyway, while some of the money we pay into goes towards Eurovision its not just that we are paying into.

But some of the comments, were fantastic, the EU is bitter because we left, its all political, Europe is bitter because of our vaccine programme.

I am also positive they are bitter about our death toll, what with it being the 5th largest in the world.

If any of this is true, I am not sure why Israel didn’t vote for us, or Australia

It has nothing to do with the fact it was a shit song, it wasn’t sung very well and we do so little with it, to the UK its a bit of a laugh, to other countries they take it really seriously. They send their versions of the Beatles or the Rolling Stones. We send our version of me that can hold a note (and not always then)

I mean I remember this song from 2008

Better than a song I heard on Saturday night from the UK. It just wasn’t good, there is also the fact that both Spain and Germany, as well as the UK all got zero points from the public vote. The one thing all 3 of those countries have in common is the fact none of us perform in the semi finals, so maybe something to do with that.

Now, lets roll onto the Olympics.

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8 Responses to Nul Points

  1. Cyranny says:

    I am jealous… Why can Australia play, and not us?? It’s not faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree, I massively cringed at what Amanda Holden did. Why embarrass us, make us look ignorant, and basically imply that other languages don’t matter. What an insult.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Carol anne says:

    I didnt watch it this year. Usually I would, but since Ireland werent in it I decided not to bother!

    Liked by 1 person

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