Well what are you going to do?

After 6 weeks of the summer holiday, 18 months roughly of either homeschooling or my partner being unemployed, I got the flat to myself for the first time, properly, I know when everyone might be back for close to 6 hours.

First off, the morning went well, I was very pleased we managed to get out the door without a panic attack. Anxiety was high, but as my sister said the overwhelming desire to be alone and watch the telly I wanted probably overided the anxiety and she could well be right.

I will never know if I was right in the decision not to send Monkey to summer club one day a week, to give us both a break, I feel it was still right based on not knowing what was going on, the risk factor of covid (living near a large hospital alot of the kids have at least one parent working in it.) But it has been tough having to enterain Monkey for close to 18 hours a day and even now he can entertain himself, get himself breakfast and generally be ok for a few hours, just having someone else in the flat was getting sufficating and putting me on edge, that is going to be something I have to work on for my own sanity and for Monkey’s sake because by the end I was on edge and irritable and snappy.

But I won’t know whether that has been a build up for nearly the last 2 years or just the 6 weeks.

When I spoke to my family, the question I got asked most was what are you going to do. Today I am going to do sweet fuck all. Next week, I may take a look at the last of the lego, maybe. But I am conscious that one of the things I am doing, is putting off really looking for a job, we have decided (I say we, I mean me) that I am not fighting for any more benefits, I am sick of it. The government can stick it up their arse and I will find new ways to taunt them and that is fairly easy to do, because of a side note, one of our MPs (Matt Hancock) is doing the London Marathon and set up a go fund me account for it, people paid £2 just to insult him, money well spent in my opinion.

This entry was posted in Mental Health and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Well what are you going to do?

  1. mydangblog says:

    Enjoy the day doing exactly what you want!


  2. Yes, it’s Trina Day (hours) and she does what she wants to do! Even if it’s stare at the wall, it can feel fantastic!


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