I am sick…….

Of being so angry of not being able to leave my house and it getting me so far and then I hit a massive wall of anxiety

Of being depressed

Of being on benefits and never knowing if this is the budget that is going to take me under the poverty linke

Of being manic one day to not being able to get out of bed the next

Of being so reliant on my patnership, we are meant to be a partnership not it being 80/20

Of being awake at 3am and thinking if I can just go to sleep now I can get three hours sleep

Of having a brain so full of anxiety it keeps me up worrying about things I did ten years ago

Of sick of worrying about things I cannot change

Of the paranoia that with each changing shrink I have told my mental health journey so well I can tell it word for word and if I don’t get it right I am making it up but if I say it word for word I have it rehearst

Of changing Shrinks

Of not being a normal mum

And most of all I am sick of feeling like I am the only fucking person on this planet not to be able to get pregnant