I came to the realisation today that I am spiralling downwards. I haven’t gotten dressed in days, haven’t left the house in over a week. And I am sleeping a lot, A hell of a lot for an insomniac.
I am not sure if realising this is a good thing, I know something is wrong, but I just don’t care, I am just “happy” for the darkness to consume me.
I am tired of fighting this, and so I am just not sure what to do, I need to start from scratch but it was such a long journey to begin with. I really dont want to start.
Its good to be crazy Sometimes 
I know this feeling. The only way to transcend it is to force yourself to do the basic things that you don’t want to do. That feeling being happy to let the darkness consume you is your illness.
It wants you to believe that there is no place for you in the light.
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I just don’t think I have it in me to force myself any more, I am finding it harder and harder to care
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I agree don’t let it win….get up, struggle through it…its not what you really want…your stronger than the darkness….sending you white energy…..lots of it…kat
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Thank you so much 🙂
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are you doing better today??? hope so….kat
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doing a bit better today thank you 🙂
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hang in there….keep fighting !!!
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thank you
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Yep…that’s the depression. Do you have someone you can call…a therapist or psychiatrist?
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I got discharged because of how well I was doing just typical
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Sometimes people do better in structured environments…that’s one of the reasons an average length of stay in a hospital was from 30 to 90 days. It sounds like a long time but that is how long it can take to do med trials and really assess a person’s mental status.
Did the unit provide you with written directions for follow up care?
Did you get a number to call or a follow up appointment with a psychiatrist or counselor?
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I have the number of the crisis team, so if things get really bad either myself or my partner can phone them, but they are over stretched here, so they can be useless at times
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My thoughts are with you…I worry…:)
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Thank you Robert, I am lucky to have a good support network in real life and on the internet
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When you did care…what did you care about? The other day you cared enough about me to follow my blog. That was doing something for another just because you care. And I appreciated it because I am just starting out. Your hand helped to pull me forward. Here’s mine now!
Today, I spoke to a young man over in India. He too had thoughts of giving up, not caring. I asked him if he liked cereal. When he said yes, I suggested he have a bowl.
Can life really suck while you’re eating a bowl of your favorite cereal? I don’t know where you are, or how you cannot care, but i do know that I wish you the Highest and Best right now. I care!
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Thank you so much for your lovely words, my son gets me through each and every day. He is the most amazing little boy, even if I do say so myself 😉
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The storm will be weathered and the you inside will come through. You must get help this place would not be the same with you not here… wishing you joy.
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Thank you so much for your lovely words 🙂
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X
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Maybe this is a good time to binge watch your favourite TV show, and to discover what is your favourite flavour of ice cream.
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I must admit I did 6 hours of masterchef last night, although no ice cream, I may rectify that tonight
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I just went through the exact same thing. Do you think this may be something fleeting or a call for a change of meds? Please don’t let this spiral too far down. Try and catch it now.
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The doctor’s have thoughtfully decided not to put me on any meds, because they just don’t work after a month, I have rapid cycling bi polar, so nothing is ever for long, but it is exhausting
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Well I hope things even out a bit. I’m not sure but I think I might be rapid cycling as well. Never been diagnosed but I fit the criteria.
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Its a nightmare to get a diagnoises for
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I just want to reach out and say that you’re a wonderful, caring, giving, great writer/blogger, and so much more. Look deep inside yourself for the person I know you can be! I hope you know I’m here for you and just an email or call away. XXXX and OOOO love, Jem
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Thanks Jen, such lovely words from such a lovely lady
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Well thank you for your sweet words. I see you got up this morning and dressed. Progress!!!
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It was more like the afternoon, but yep managed to get dressed and go out 🙂
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I’m proud of you! I couldn’t even wake up till this afternoon. 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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Although I can’t speak to your illness since I don’t have much experience in this department, I wish you whatever it takes to get you out of the darkness. Xo
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Thank you so much 🙂
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I know this feeling. More so since I can’t take my antidepressants while on tamoxifen. I am telling myself: 1 iddy biddy step(doesnt even have to be a step) at a time. For example, if you need to email a Psychologist, just compose half the email 1 day, the 2 half the next day and hit send on the 3rd. Need to do laundry? Commit to just 5 min. I wish I could help.
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Thank you so much, I managed to get dressed today, so we have celebrated that
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I am celebrating for you!!
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thank you so much, I hope you did a jig
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I will do one as soon as you tell me what’s involved and how it’s performed. 🙂
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involves jumping round like an idiot, smiling 😉
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Is it like the whip?
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You have to. What’s the alternative? You have to make yourself get up, get dressed, get outside. Once there, you may be glad you did. Every trip begins with the first step. Just start.
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Thank you, I got up, I got dressed, I walked the dog. Baby steps but its something
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Good. Now do it again, then again, then again. Keep plugging away.
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I shall keep trying thank you 🙂
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👍
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I know this feeling too, I am going through right now as well. I second on binge watch your favorite tv show! Or read a book! It’s great for relaxation and helps me a lot with my anxiety. Stay strong dear.
Xoxo
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Thank you for your lovely words. This morning was bad but this afternoon, it got better
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That’s good! 🙂 life is like that sometimes, you have a bad start but things always start to turn out, just remain positive and shake off the negativity. 🙂
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sometimes it is tough doing it, but its one of those things that I know I will feel better having done it
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I don’t have any advice and won’t try to give any. Sending good thoughts your way though!
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Thank you Jason
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I’m always around.
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There is a joke in there about you getting around. I do appreciate the support 🙂
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I hear the joke. 😉
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LOL 🙂
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Realizing is always a good thing! I wish I could be in your shoes to fully empathize with you 😦
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Thank you so much but trust me I wouldn’t want my worse enemy in my shoes on these days. But I appreciate the thought
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Sending you hugs. Hang in there.
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Thank you
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It’s tough, but keep fighting. It’s worth fighting. And don’t be too tough on yourself on the really rough days. Many hugs and positive energy being sent from Spain!
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Thank you, if you have sun can you send some of that my way as well 😉
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Nothing but rain in Bilbao, sorry! Wish I could send it to both of us 🙂
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Bum, I shall just take your good thoughts then 🙂
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Hey -you are only human. What’s that saying? something like ‘how can a person appreciate the good times when they have nothing to compare it too?’ We all here to support you. xx
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Thank you so much for your lovely words
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Hey no advice..not my forte but lots of happy vibes coming way 🙂
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Thank you so much
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😦
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I hope u feel better soon to get up…sending you lots of good vibes your way. X.
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Thank you so much
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Let’s hope that your body and mind are trying to play catch up with all the sleepless nights of insomnia, then you have to force yourself to just get up and do the bare basics. All the best my dear.
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Thank you so much
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My regards 🙂
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Hammy is on his way over right now to provide you comfort and foresight in these troubling times. Hang in there :).
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Thank you, although you might want to tell him I have no vodka, so he is going to pick up his own. 😉
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Hammy is going on the wagon, you have to catch up LOL
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Good for Hammy, 😉
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