I was diagnoised a few years back with rapid cycling bipolar. Basically my moods can last only a few hours and can change quickly as well. While recently I haven’t had any massive mood swings, I can switch to the wrong side of stable either way. There are certain triggers I can avoid, one of those I started talking about in part 3
OCD. If my routines are not done, when they are meant to be done, it can lead to a depressive state, which then results in an argument in my head between my OCD, anxiety and depression.
Which is why its so important to get these damn jobs done. I honestly believe that is why I have been stable recently, because I have gotten the cleaning done, when it should be done, however that is restrictive.
My depression surfaces as not doing anything, I find it a struggle to get out of bed, struggle to care, even struggle to play with my son.
I have a voice in my head (Frank) who is always there, however depending on mood, will depend on how quiet he is. During a depressive period he is loud really loud. He will point out all my faults, tell me why I shouldn’t be here, what a shit mother, partner and general human being I am. He wears me down and it so difficult to fight him. I explain it here.
Do you know what else happens during a depressive period, I get insomnia. Did you read part 1